O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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