Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
