when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
