Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
