Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
