he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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