remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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