you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
