take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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