Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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