Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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