If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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