I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
