I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
