once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
