I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
