I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
