so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
