I think my fart just growled at me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
