my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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