the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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