it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
