Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
