hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What a dumb baby whore.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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