i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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