I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
