i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
