yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
