Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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