Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
