You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
