PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
