oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
