So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
