i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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