You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
