The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you had me at cake vodka
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
