She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
