Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
