Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
