is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
