I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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