Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
