my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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