You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
