She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
