she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
