I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you would pick up someone in the library
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
