There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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