I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
